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Original: 12/22/2006 12:21 AM
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Friday, December 22, 2006

 

         

             Eye Contact ( shisen o awasu )

shisen2

Are Japanese offended by direct eye contact in certain situations?    Yes!

I can tell you that Japanese don't look at your eyes all the time while talking.    Personally I don't hesitate to keep eye contact while I am listening and talking to someone.  However, I sometimes feel that they are uncomfortable to keep eye contact for a long time. Some people try to look away or down at some points...

Suppose a teacher is angry at you and giving a lecture, I would guess you would look at the teacher, right?  If your father is mad at you and if you don't look at him, he might say  " Look at me!"

In Japan, if someone is, scolding you or reprimanding you,  you should never stare at him.  In that case, most Japanese look at a lower point with their head down in order not to make him more angry.  If you look him in the eye, it is considered confrontational.

Some foreigners living in Japan say that is one of the most surprising things in Japan. What do you think?

Have a look at this picture, this is a common scene of it between a father and his daughter. Both of them don't see each other.    Well, there must be some different opinions about it from your experiences.

I think Japanese are nodding their heads or saying "hai, hai " or "mmm" instead of making eye contact. Maybe Japanese are shy in that way.

 

 

 Posted 12/22/2006 12:21 AM - 392 Views - 16 eProps - 9 comments

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9 Comments

Visit jitenshajin's Xanga Site!
omoshiroi desu. Thanks Mirai for your continued sharing of Japanese culture
Posted 12/22/2006 1:26 AM by jitenshajin - reply

Visit bubblygal86's Xanga Site!
That's exactly what I was thinking: maybe it's a shy thing. Even though I don't like eye contact sometimes, i work on looking at someone when I'm talking to him/her. The whole eye contact thing is awkward, but I have to get over that, right? lol
Posted 12/22/2006 9:27 AM by bubblygal86 - reply

Visit TnnsFox0412's Xanga Site!
I guess it's a shy thing because I'm shy and can relate with the no eye contact thing very well. But then again, not everyone in Japan is shy... right!?! I suppose it's just what is considered the norm in Japan's society?
Posted 12/22/2006 11:38 AM by TnnsFox0412 - reply

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I suppose it is a difference of culture.

I prefer to make eye contact with everyone I speak with. I want to acknowledge them as a person and an equal and I want to make sure they understand what I am saying. If someone avoids eye contact with me then I would assume that they were either rude or had something to hide. (after reading this post though I might think that they were simply too shy) Even if I were being chewed out by my boss, I would want to make eye contact to show him that I was paying serious attention to what he was saying.

 

However, there are of course situations in which eye contact should be avoided such as when passing thugs on the street or people that are obviously intoxicated.

Posted 12/23/2006 3:23 AM by rrtideman - reply

Visit claytoniantomb's Xanga Site!
actually, I would stare thugs down. Show no weakness! Heh. But I am shy quite often when I talk to Japanese, because they make me feel too interesting :p
Posted 12/24/2006 9:01 PM by claytoniantomb - reply

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constant eye contact can make people uncomfortable.  it may lead back to our animal instincts??  but the eyes can tell their own story and it may not be what the person is really saying.  it maybe as you say a shy thing but it can also be a way of showing submission to an other person.  i was told long time ago to look at spot just above the bridge of the nose when talking to people.  but i tend to flow back and forth from the mouth to the eyes as i want to connect to what the person is saying.   thanks for continuing to share life/views from an other country in your blog.  it is always interesting.  

Posted 12/28/2006 4:57 AM by buddy71 Xanga True Member Xanga Lifetime Member - reply

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very intersting
Posted 8/13/2007 12:01 PM by mingcwl - reply

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Hahaha really? xD
Yesyes I guess it depends on the person! ^__^;;

<3
Posted 11/16/2007 11:54 PM by czaren - reply

I'm Japanese, so maybe I can explain why Japanese people tend to avoid prolonged-eye contact especially with strangers.

There are some reasons that I can think about. 

1, shy and introverted.  Yes and No.  maybe Japanese are generally shy compare to Westerners, but it can't describe enough why avoids eye-contact.Some Japanese think, it is safe not to insist strongly because individualism and democracy hasn't encouredged and developed so much in its society and in education. It's more like attunument so if surrounding doesn't like to do eye-contact, they won't .(Nowadays, it's changing because of the influence of globalism though)

 and also Japanese tends to be cautious or considerate for stranger. 

2, over-populated, busy and no room to have a little chat with stranger in grosery store or cafe in city area. In some city, picking up on the street is illegal.(I think it is for preventing prostitution) 

3, It's sometimes rude or offensive to stare the eyes whose older person's. I think it is an afterglow of feudal system. People in lower hierarchy couldn't see directly to shogun in Edo era so, avoiding eye-contact was like to show the submission. I personally think that is awkward not to see the professor in classroom and every students are just watching their book with their head down though.

4,  Generally, we Japanese are taught that look to the teacher in the classroom when we were kids and kids usually make an eye contact each other but, for adult, it may be not so common to make an eye-contact.  

However,  it is really depends on the person. Ofcourse, an actor, host and hostes doesn't hesitate to make eye-contact and to make an eye-contact is getting be important in business in Japan.

Posted 10/1/2009 3:59 PM by YES - reply


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